When to Quit

            The blog has resurfaced! To say it has been a long time since I’ve written for fun is an extreme understatement. Allow me catch you up to speed with my life. I graduated from UW-Madison this May with Bachelors in history and a certificate in gender and women’s studies. Right now, I’m working as a bartender in Madison but I’m so excited to announce that I recently accepted an offer with American Family Insurance that I will be starting in October. For anyone close to me in my life, they know the struggle of me wanting a “big girl job” but the anxiety of not knowing what I wanted or how to go about it has been on going since basically the start of my senior year. Besides this big news, I’ve been slowly attempting to transition to a vegan diet after being a pescaterian for the past two years. It’s been an exciting process but challenging at times, especially when eating out or when I remember how delicious sushi is. Beyond my diet, I started dating someone in February and he has somehow managed to take on the task of my ceaseless worrying. Plus, he loves his cat as much as I love mine, so its pretty great. There you have it dear reader, my life in a convenient recap after an almost year and a half hiatus from this blog. Now on to the actual post.

People say college is four of the hardest years of your life. I think that’s a lie. Don’t get me wrong, dear reader, college was hard and there were definitely tears shed over late night cram sessions, term papers, and final exams. But what they don’t tell you is how hard life is right after college. I naively looked forward to the end of college as a positive step towards less stress in my life and being “an adult.” However, until recently, this summer had been one of the most stressful in my life. But as often is the case with extreme stress, comes learning opportunities too.

The end of college meant many of my friends accepting adult jobs, and moving forward with their lives. While I was, and am, so incredibly proud of their hard earned accomplishments, I couldn’t help but compare myself to them. Me stuck at a job that left me stressed and dreading going to work and not sure which direction I wanted to go career wise. Don't get me wrong, I had great co-workers, I just couldn't imagine myself staying. Wasn’t I supposed to know what I wanted to do by this point in my life? Wasn’t the time for uncertainty limited to the freshman year of college filled with undeclared majors? I felt like I was going backwards in time. I used to be so certain of the direction of my life but as everyone grew up around me, I felt myself becoming less and less certain of what I wanted my life to look like. That leads me to this summer, riddled with stress and anxiety, knowing I wanted to leave my job but not having another one lined up, despite resumes and applications sent. I agonized for weeks over whether or not to leave a job that left me unhappy despite it being irresponsible. But I did something crazy and put in my two weeks.

It occurred to me that I always try to live my life keeping my personal happiness and mental wellbeing at the forefront and I had been neglecting both of those. I put my two weeks in, feeling a weight come off my shoulders. I swear it was like the universe was cheering “its about time!” because everything starting working out for me. I’m not religious but it definitely felt like there were some higher powers at work. I went from being completely broke to accepting a bartending position with an old manager who wanted me to work at his new location. I got a job interview with American Family Insurance and they ended up calling me back a month earlier than they were supposed to with an offer because they were so impressed with my interview. But perhaps most importantly, I felt better physically and mentally. I went from being riddled with intense anxiety back to enjoying the things I love. I’m reading again, I picked this blog back up because writing is something I immensely enjoy, and I’m getting back to my passion of food that’s good for me and for the environment. I finally feel like myself again.

Now, if you’ve made it this far through my personal story, you’re probably asking yourself the “so what.” So what does this mean to me? So what does this matter beyond I had a few minutes to spare and this link happened to be on my social media page? My hope is that it may serve as a loving reminder to those who may need it. Life can be incredibly hard. You may feel as though you’re stuck in a rut, perhaps mentally or physically or both. You might be afraid or apprehensive of change. After all, change can be an incredibly scary thing. I left a job for the unknown, only because it made me unhappy, something many may consider a foolish decision. Change is intimidating, but sometimes leaping into the unknown, whatever that may translate to within your own life, may be the best possible decision. If you feel unworthy or incapable of making changes to make yourself happy, please know that you are not. You deserve happiness in your life in whatever form that may take. After all, life is not meant to be lived in routine duty.

-T

These are just some photos to recap my hiatus because apparently adding photos is something bloggers do? Call me trendy.